Anytime you want, anywhere you are, you can muxtape:

http://21gunz.muxtape.com

Mux on, fellow muxrats!

UPDATE:
Muxtape the end.

TRACK:
Genesis ~ Land Of Confusion (Metal On Metal Edit)

IN ONE SENTENCE:
Michna and I took the best parts of the already epic Land Of Confusion and stripped away all the fat, leaving behind a sleekly designed engine of pure hypnotizing head explosion.

ANYTHING ELSE?
Strictly for the baby boomers or record nerds. If you can play this at your party and it goes over, I will concede that you have the illest party ever.

Hey sorry for the lack of posting, or more accurately the too much youtube posting... I know youtube posting is kind of phoning in the blog post but the weather's been getting nicer, it's BBQ time, and house parties where your friends trawl tricycles around your floor are taking over my life right now.

Anyways, this post is about my cousin:


When I was mad young, my "older, cooler cousin" (of which everyone has at least one) played me a few tracks that totally blew my young stupid mind. Aside from "Particle Man," he also played Fishbone and 2 tracks that I only remembered for the longest time afterwards as going "DO YOU HAVE SOME FISH? DO YOU HAVE SOME CHIPS?" and "Bye, bye, bye BYE bye bye BYEBYEBYEBYE!!!" Cut to 20 years later when I finally have figured out both of them, and now share them with you. Keep in mind that at this age, my musical education consisted primarily of whatever Chinese opera my parents would listen to and the commercial jingle for Dizzy Dizzy Dinosaur.

Buffalo ~ Stump

Violent Femmes ~ Please Do Not Go

ps- he also just turned me on to this, so the conclusion is that he is still awesome.

( I still listen to Pinkerton....shhhhhh)

part Matrix, part Wiz, part Temple of Doom, part Narnia, part WTF:

Does this really exist or am I simply hallucinating from rage and incomprehension?



Come ON Fall Out Boy. I will admit that you have some very catchy songs and for the most part are a pretty harmless and well put-together pop-punk band. This alone forgives you the trespasses of opening your own shitty East Village bar or making a song "inspired" by Lord of War. But doing cover songs of Michael Jackson? This is only slightly worse than J Lo recording a song that "contains interpolations of" Watch Out Now or Lenny Kravitz teaming up with Jay-Z to record a track with a Cake sample (and I love Cake).

In fact, the only time bands should be allowed to release tongue-in-cheek covers as singles should be to promote a "Best Of... So Far!" album. That's it. Like the White Stripes knew better than to release Jolene on an album (but then they did release Walking With A Ghost for some reason).

"But Woods!" you say. "It's fun!" To which I reply "Feh. I'm opposed to fun." John Mayer, Eddie Van Halen you ain't. I suppose, as an Azn I can give props to the video for including the Yellow Brothas, but we all know that the only Asian dance star is Gerry Woo.

Still the best record they ever did? I remember seeing them play in Brooklyn in like 2002 and thinking "they're just playing This Is Radio Clash but this guy is a shitty Joe Strummer!" -- cut to a few months later when this chick played it at Sin-E and I was like "this is AMAZING!"

!!! ~ Me And Giuliani Down By The School Yard

ps- good thing I paid $70 to see the Toadies in June

Sometimes I think I have a small black walnut of a heart, filled only with scorn and disdain. Why else would I write off entire genres of music like an old man before even listening to them? It's not even getting older, I was doing this years ago at the Lab, whenever a new record would come in that wasn't whatever I happened to be listening to at the time. I blame YOU for turning me into a hater, Kyle and Andy!

simpler times
I can't count the sheer number of "ughs" I've muttered while listening to some new arrival with headphones on, while shaking my head in semi-paralyzed horror. When that first Dangermouse EP (or that Gray Album abortion for that matter) came out I was like "whoa this exists and it is exciting! The future is unwritten! No fate but what we make for ourselves! My mother taught me this, as a message to give to my father!" etc. But after awhile it just became a pretty consistent wince fest every time I heard another new incendiary mash-up. At one point I'm pretty sure I vowed that if I ever heard another Beastie Boys/Eminem/Missy mashup again I would defecate in the middle of Turntable Lab and move to a houseboat in the middle of the ocean. Amazingly, mere months before I was marveling at the freshness of the second 2 Many DJs CD, or that "Greatest Bootlegs In The World Ever" CD.

Actually, this love/hate relationship to mash-up parallels my love/hate relationship to Chuck Klosterman, or for that matter, Tshirts with any kind of sloganeering/catchphrase on them. It's something that for the most part is annoying, but every once in a while there is the rare exception to the rule that makes you go "OK you entire genre of lowest common denominator posturing, you are redeemed."

Go Home Productions ~ Christina Aguilera VS Velvet Underground

Party Ben ~ Green Day VS Oasis VS Travis

Inhumanz ~ Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson VS NIN

UPDATE (from 4AM Jess):

Hookerz & Blow ~ Claude Vonstroke VS Too Short

QUOTE:
ITS SO EFFIN GOOD
thats my blurb

Willie Nelson + Kris Kristofferson + Waylon Jennings + Johnny Cash = ILLEST VIDEO EVER.



Highwayman

Everyone come to Trophy Bar this Saturday... Epic jams that will be played may include:

Heart ~ Straight On

Andre Cymone ~ Dance Electric

Basement Jaxx ~ The Finest

Would you like to look at my sex tape?
Natural beauty, photogenic
Always ready to pose for nice shoots
Put my poppy Chanel dress
He sleeps Louis Vitton bag
Silver spoon, champagne bath
Mom! I want that one, please!

by Archie Bevins

I know, I know.
You hate The Eagles.
But this is because you are an idiot, a sheep, a herd animal; to paraphrase Mr. Neitzche, you hate it because it is literally better than you.

Also, you have never heard the sweet, blue-eyed soul jams that we are about to share with you.

Now most likely, you have been told for years now to hate The Eagles. Don Henley, you understand, is a douchebag, and had a ponytail at some point.

This all comes out of a stupid, widely known art movement known as "punk."
At some point during this movement, that guy with the safety pins and leather jacket that sang "London Calling," submitted that the Eagles were yuppy scum because they didn't sing about the plight of the lazy British white man or something.

Since then, this has been the received wisdom; "Punk" has told you that IT is right and that the Eagles are terrible. And "punk" for some reason, is STILL hegemonic in the culture of youth, so you follow along.

Yeah, well have you ever listened to "Jimmy Jazz"? Eh? Go ahead and try. It is awful.

NOW take a listen instead to the genius blue-eyed soul of the song that turned ALL OF US into Eagles-fans: "I Can't Tell you Why."

It was written and sung by the bass player (the dude with the really long, straight-ironed hair).

Witness the greatest snare sound in the history of FOREVER - big, dark, and dry. Hear those guitars hard-panned to either stereo side.
Those strings! Those perfect harmonies! Oh man, it is so so sweet.

Oh and another thing:
The Eagles' lifestyle absolutely SLAYED the comparatively austere life of the 70s "punk":

The Eagles were kings of a 70s LA rock scene that was all about drinking red wine, snorting piles of cocaine, driving expensive cars down the freeway at dusk, and fucking your best friend's wife. Sorry, but these soft rock guys did more drugs and fucked more - and more beautiful - women, than any of these punks. I mean, Sid Vicious was with ONE woman! And she was hideous! I mean, have you ever seen Nancy Spungen? Whereas Don Henley, that "douchebag" was with thousands of faire ethereal California maidens...

Now isn't that a whole hell of a lot better than wearing a leather jacket and whining to acne-covered teenagers about society, boredom, and the contradictions implicit in monarchical rule? With solid state amplifiers and shitty drum sounds?

I know I keep talking about drums, but, as you will see below, Don Henley is a criminally under-rated drummer.

Smooth, virile, light rock, people!
Get into it.

For further, sweet smooth jams::
"One of These Nights"
(live, with a pre-Dennis Hopper circa Speed behind the drums -ed)

"Take it to the Limit"

Nick Hook ~ Presented With Taste
Sweet sweet house.

Black Ghosts mix
Review straight from da chat wiff Jess!
they are like electro/rock/switchremixish/
the dude has a really good voice

SLAMMM DUNKKKK!

I think Bad Religion appeals literally only to 10th graders. Anyone older than that who likes the band is obviously a clod and should be dismissed entirely forever. Stranger than Fiction came out when I was in high school right around when Dookie opened the floodgates for pop-punk bands and third wave ska was not yet an unfunny joke (rather it was a very catchy and seemingly legitimate genre of music!).

Swing revival was also not yet an unfunny joke.

Bad Religion is even more offensive/tragic than most pop-punk bands of the 90s. First of all, look at these chowderheads:

Second and more importantly because the lead guy is like some Physics professor at Harvard or something. Ugh! It's like that dreadlocked baboon in the Offspring who screeches about being "pretty fly for a white guy" and then teaches Advanced Microeconomics to future stockbrokers at Wharton (literally true). Does the fact that they spend all day in a classroom shaping the brightest minds of tomorrow, and then go home to write totally idiotic juvenile songs strike anyone else as the ultimate negation of punk? Not to proselytize, but Punk at its unambitious best should just be anthemic monosyllabic choruses that literally mean nothing if you try to analyze them (eg- Sham 69's "If The Kids Are United").

Yeah it's totally possible to have politically minded punk, I guess (the above Sham 69 song kind of being one), but it can get pretty annoying. When I'm singing along to the Clampdown at the top of my lungs I still have no idea what the song is about, and I prefer it that way. Or what about Green Day launching their comeback off American Idiot because it's POLITICAL?

??!!

American Idiot is about as political as beating someone over the head with a shit-filled sock.

I read this interview where BJ Armstrong was like "yeah the way I wrote that album was, I went to NY and went on a drinking binge for like a week and then wrote the album. End of story."

Anyways I have no idea where this rant came from, I think it was because I saw a Bad Religion record in A-1 today and started thinking about it. Actually I really like the Walk. 21st Century Digital Boy is good too.

I'm at Trophy Bar in BK this coming Saturday for a new party called Summer Vacation. Bring your dancing shoes and expect to hear 80s, house, 90s rock, and stuff like this:

Chemical Brothers ft. Fatlip ~ Salmon Dance
*via helene

New mix for the weekend, enjoy...

TOTES MAGELLAN!

~trax~

michna / triple chrome dipped
2 hyped brothers & a dog / doo doo brown
dbx / phreak
stetsasonic / talkin all that jazz (bonus break)
FUCK YO' COUCH
depeche mode / master & servant
freddie mercury / love kills
tones on tail / performance
ron hardy / trust
adonis / we're rocking down the house
frank ski / hot for you
juiceboxxx / center stage
ralph falcon / every now & then (dub)
indo / are you sleeping (h&f dub)
c+c music factory / keep it comin

GUEST ENTRY BY ARCHIE BEVINS

Led Zeppelin, noted-greatest-band-in-all-of-history, was envisioned and conceived by genius lead guitarist Jimmy Page.

It formed out of the ashes of The Yardbirds (for whom Page played bass), becoming The New Yardbirds, before finally becoming Led Zeppelin.

It was during this New Yardbirds phase that Page saw Jake Holmes play a song called "I'm Confused" - he ripped off the bassline and put together his first masterwork, "Dazed and Confused."

Now, everyone makes fun of Robert Plant (and they always have, ever since he was in the band - see "hammer of da gods" for proof). He prances and minces and strikes idiotic poses and his pants were custom-made to show off his genitals. And he always sings about hobbits and fairies, and is generally regarded to be juvenile and ridiculous.

Well it is time for a re-evaluation of Robert Plant and his contribution to Zeppelin::

As this clip proves, the majesty of the mighty Zep absolutely HINGES upon the powerful, VIRILE pipes of plant; for without them, the whole thing falls apart::



vide this clip of The New Yardbirds; the instrumentation (even pre-John Bonham) is nearly identical to the Zeppelin classic.

And yet, it is a total flop. Why? Impotent simpleton with the fucking moustache singing the song (Keith Relf is/was his name).

First off, the dundering buffoon can't even figure out the rhythm of the song - its as if he's singing along with it for the first time, making shit up.

And what are these lyrics? "You resemble a cat/whereas I, in turn, am the soon-to-be-eaten-mouse!!"

And don't even get us started on his performance during the infamous "call-and-response betwixt the vocals and guitar bowing section":
when you are expecting to hear the powerful wail of Plant, and hear instead the to the pitiful whinings of this whinging cunt, you are led to these inescapable conclusions:

1) Keith Relf (moustache) is a sorrowful abortion.
AND
2) Robert Plant rides from on high, the Norse God of the Rock of ages. He deserves your respect.

In conclusion, ladies and gentlemen:
"Safety" AS WELL AS "Doorknob."

Vide the "youtube videoclip" and see the truth for yourselves.

Yours in Christ,
Archie Bevins, esq. (Noted Bloggist)

OG:


COVER:
Big Star ~ Femme Fatale

Here's the Panthers dub they did which was on the Cut Copy mix, and the remix they did of "Spectacle Wins" for Only Fools and Horses.

Frog and I DJed a really fun loft party at Dre Skulls house this weekend. These kids were in town and out partying with us, and I didn't start playing until about 3:30AM. So of course I went ahead and played all Grime/2 Step/Bassline/WhateverIcouldgetawaywithatDreSkullsHouseat4AMthat Iwillprobablynevergetawaywitheveragain. People were actually into it and I can't believe I did not clear out the entire party. It even got to the point where I dropped this song. I love this song. Everyone should love this song. Everytime I play it out (which is rare) one person usually gets excited about it....and that usually makes my night.

OBSERVATIONS:
1. The endless sea of happy baby boomer smiles, joyously clapping out of sync to the music. But none more joyous than that of Clinton himself, clapping at half-time!

2. Lindsey Buckingham, still plectrum-free!

3. Ugh!!! Stevie Nicks! Time has ravaged your once youthful looks! Bowler hat + enormous shoulder pads + even more enormous crucifix = you are there only to sing back up vocals on the chorus and uselessly jiggle the tambourine.

4. Mick Fleetwood looks like a high school janitor.

5. Even the Turbans are hypnotized by Buckingham's incendiary guitar shreds!

6. When Clinton joins them onstage, it's difficult to see him due to the pure, blinding happiness he emits.

7. MJ.

8. When the credits start rolling I feel like I'm watching an episode of Saturday Night Live.

9. Also a big yay to the endless chorus -- it's like the white version of McFadden & Whitehead.

Apparently I'm a degenerate because I've gone out every night this week.



80s
Heaven 17 ~ Let Me Go (Extended Mix)

90s
2 Hyped Brothers & A Dog ~ Doo Doo Brown
*via Roc

00s
Deadmau5 ~ Vanishing Point

*Inexplicable bonus
Don't even ask me to explain this one, it's some party anthem from a Chinese tape my cousins digitized. 2 things: the opening guitar riff is pretty much Scissor Sisters, and "Da Jia Yi Qi Lai!!!" is the Chinese equivalent of screaming "Let's goooooo!!!"



ps-Iron Man kind of rules.